Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Who Says Size Doesn't Matter?

Nigerian woman files for divorce because her husband's penis is "to big"
Aish Dannupawa asks court to dissolve one-week marriage
She complained husband Ali Maizinan's manhood was too large
Told court "We had sex but the experience was a nightmare'

Link to the full story

Wow!



By: Robert R. Beauchamp 
orangecountydivorceattorney.lawyer
Robert Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000
Fax: 855-370-8100

Friday, February 20, 2015

What is Parental Alienation and What Can I Do About It?

What is Parental Alienation and What Can I Do About It?

In far too many cases, children become pawns in divorce cases.  In fact, in far too many cases, it is the divorce attorneys who, consciously or unconsciously, encourage their clients to withhold the children from the other parent.  Unfortunately, the state mandated method for calculating child support is, in large part, responsible for this behavior.

As a divorce and family law attorney with many years of experience in child custody cases, as well as through my own divorce (though my ex and I are now good friends), it is my opinion that there are three primary factors that encourage parental alienation in divorce and child custody cases:

1. The Method of Calculating Child Support.  Child support paid from the non-custodial parent to the primary custodial parent is, all other things being equal, based upon the amount of time that the children spend with the custodial parent.  Stated another way, the more time the custodial parent can keep the children away from the non-custodial parent, the more support the custodial parent receives from the non-custodial parent.  Economists will tell you that, all other things being equal, when you pay a person for a behavior, you can be assured that you will get more of that behavior.

2. The Custodial Parent's Desire to Continue Punish or to Exercise Control Over the Non-Custodial Parent.  No one is sane when going through a divorce.  Often, one party does not want the divorce.  A vindictive custodial parent can cause immense emotional and financial harm to the non-custodial parent by withholding the children from the non-custodial parent.  Unfortunately, the insanity of divorce and desire to harm the non-custodial parent both emotionally and financially blinds the offending parent to the fact that such behavior causes severe, long-term harm to the children.  Countless studies establish without doubt that children fare much better when, even through and after divorce, they have TWO parents who love them and that children who have had one parent "amputated" by the custodial parent are at dramatically higher risk for emotional problems, delinquency including drug abuse and criminal activity.  Moreover, the alienating parent often finds that, in the long-run, the children ultimately rebel against the alienating parent and align tightly with the other parent as soon as they reach an age at which they can express their own opinions.

3. Societal Pressure. Although "the times they are a changing," the traditional historical custody arrangement was that the children spent alternate weekends with one parent, usually the father, and the balance of the time with the custodial parent, usually the mother.  That stereotype is still ingrained in many people's minds.  Because, in many cases, one parent is attempting, consciously or unconsciously, to justify the fact that they are divorcing, such parent will attempt to establish that the other parent is unfit, incapable or for other reasons not worthy of having substantial custody time with the children.  In so doing, the alienating parent is attempting to convey to the world that the reasons for the divorce were legitimate: that there was something "wrong" with the other parent.

4. Differing Parenting Styles Combined With a Belief that the Other Parent's Parenting Style is Deficient. People vary in parenting styles.  Some are very strict, some or very liberal, some are more involved, some are less involved.  Particularly in South Orange County, the term "helicopter parent" has become slang for the parent who must exercise control over and direct every moment of their children's lives.  There are other parents who have no problem with their children hopping on their bicycle and disappearing to engage in self-directed activities until a reasonable hour.  And, there are parents who fall into the infinite spectrum between the helicopter parent and the more hands off parent.  Typically, when these parents end up in divorce and custody battles, the conflict between their parenting styles manifests itself in acute conflict.  The fact is, that within reason, both parenting styles are valid, but it can be very difficult for parents to accept the idea that their particular parenting style is superior to the style of their ex.

5. Turning the Children Into Parents. In many cases, one parent will portray themselves as the victim of the divorce and custody dispute and will seek validation from the child.  When this occurs, the child is forced into the unfamiliar, uncomfortable and unnatural role of parent to the "victim" parent. 

Sometimes alienation descends to the level of one parent (or both) making false allegations of various forms of abuse, this is by far the most heinous example of alienation and, unfortunately, often works, at least temporarily. Not only are such actions deplorable, they have dramatic negative impacts on the children resulting in often irreparable harm to the relationship between the child and either parent.  Sometimes the alienating parent ends up despised by the child and sometimes the other parent is successfully amputated from the child's life leaving a lasting void and lasting resentment.

California law provides that preference in custody disputes is to be given to the parent most likely to promote a continuous and healthy relationship with the other parent.  If alienation is proven, it will often reduce the custody time share of the alienating parent.

Whether you are the alienating parent or the parent from whom your children are being alienated, you need an experienced divorce attorney to help understand what is happening and why, the give you some perspective on the legal consequences of the situation and to help you discover, assemble and present your evidence so that the best interest of your children is put ahead of your own hurt, betrayal or other conflict that resulted in the divorce in the first place.

That said, the single, simplest, most powerful method to ameliorate parental alienation is to insist that every custody order require that the parent who’s custody period is ending be required to deliver the child to the other parent to commence that parent’s custody time.  This simple requirement dramatically reduces the alienator’s ability to use “home base” in the alienator’s attempts to interfere with the non alienator’s custody time.  It also forces the alienator to actually deliver the children to the alienated parent which serves to practical purposes:  (i) it conveys non-verbally that regardless of the negative comments made by the alienator, the alienator is still delivering the child to the alienated parent; and (ii) It forces the alienator to either exercise parental authority to require the child to obey the court’s order or face contempt for refusing to obey the court’s custody order.


Here are resources discussing the problem of parental alienation and suggestions for dealing with it:

      



By: Robert R. Beauchamp orangecountydivorceattorney.lawyer
Robert Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000
Fax: 855-370-8100

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Divorce attorney sues celebrity matchmaker for breach of contract

A celebrity matchmaker may have met his match in a disgruntled divorce lawyer who is seeking monetary damages for fraud and breach of contract.  Business Insurance reports:

In a suit filed last week in the Manhattan Supreme Court, Julie Hyman calls matchmaker Matt Titus a “fraud,” claiming that instead of a promised eight dates with “highly educated men with entrepreneurial spirit that were single and not in relationships,” as well as dating coaching and feedback, she received just “two fake date matches” and no feedback for the $8,000 she paid upfront.

Mr. Titus counters that he did all he could to find suitable matches for Ms. Hyman.

According to court papers, Ms. Hyman turned to the matchmaker — who was one of the stars of reality dating show “Matched in Manhattan” — after finding it difficult to meet people.
The divorce lawyer says she was referred to Mr. Titus by celebrity matchmaker Amy Laurent, who is endorsed by no less than Oprah Winfrey.


It remains to be seen for whose side the law will rule — but all, it transpires, truly may not be fair in love and war.
By: Robert R. Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000


#orangecountydivorceattorney

Friday, September 5, 2014

Do You Want The Most Aggressive Divorce Attorney? Give Some Thought To What You Mean By "Aggressive Attorney" And to What That Means to Your Case

Finding a divorce lawyer is easy.  Lawyers are paying upwards of $30.00 to Google for a single click on their paid advertisements in Google search results.  There are literally hundreds of them in your area.  Many, if not most, of those, advertise: “Aggressive Divorce Lawyer,” “Aggressive Attorney,” and similar such “ad-words.”  But what does aggressive mean?  
It may be tempting to look for a lawyer who markets her/himself as “aggressive.”  But while you want a lawyer who cannot be intimidated, a lawyer as comfortable in court as in his office, do you really want that cardboard cut-out caricature of the aggressive lawyer you may have seen on T.V.  Here are some reasons to give that some though.
Aggressive does not mean smart, prepared or effective
The “aggressive attorney” often makes few friends in the courthouse. I’ve seen and heard judges gossip about the silly antics of one of Orange County’s most “aggressive divorce lawyers.”  And, judges don’t take kindly to certain aggressive tactics, such as refusing to agree to a new hearing date or arguing the same point over and over after the judge has ruled.  The effective attorney compromises on procedural issues because he or she knows that the case isn’t won or lost in deposition, procedural hearings and/or with tricks.  Cases on won based on the facts, the arguments and the attorney’s behind the scenes preparation for trial.  Those silly arguments, ranting phone calls, scathing letters and clownish antics all cost you between $300 and $500 an hour and gain you nothing but more billable hours for nothing but a silly side show.
Aggressive attorneys either can’t obtain or, for their own reasons, don’t want settlement
You may be certain in your own mind that settlement is impossible. Yet, statistics show otherwise; upwards of 90 percent of cases settle before trial. Settling a case is far cheaper than going to trial. Most attorneys charge a higher rate for trial hours, not to mention the extra costs for preparation, additional hearings, and potential post-trial motions. Since an aggressive attorney will be less likely to compromise, you will have a harder time settling and that will cost you serious dollars. You may be counting on an order that your spouse will ultimately pay your attorneys’ fees, but typically, each party pays his own lawyer.
Aggressive attorneys are often not realistic
Good attorneys do not become emotionally invested in their clients’ cases.  Don’t get me wrong, all attorneys are competitive and they all want to win.  But give me any case and I can argue either side.  Good attorneys know what the opposition will say before they say it and are prepared to address what they have already prepared for.  You need your divorce attorney to explain the factors the court will consider in determining such things as child support, spousal support, visitation, and property division. I n a typical case, one party will not get all the property, all the time with the children, or unending spousal support. An aggressive attorney may not give you a reasonable assessment of the likely outcome, leaving you unprepared for the final settlement or decree.  Think of it this way: An “aggressive divorce attorney” can be like the real estate broker who tells you that your house is worth $5 million so you will sign the listing, then, once you are under contract, spends the next six months explaining to you why you need to accept $2 million.
The “aggressive attorney” make it more difficult to work with your ex-spouse down the road
Divorces are not like other kinds of litigation.  In most litigation, the parties are not emotionally involved, they likely never have to see one another, or work with one another, again.  In divorce cases, especially with children, you still have to work with your ex regarding shared custody, debts, property, shared expenses for the children and countless other issues for many years after the final paperwork is signed. The aggressive divorce attorney will encourage you to push for more than you will realistically obtain rather than compromise and it make it more difficult to work together in the future.
What kind of aggressive attorney should you be looking for?
In order to win your case without bankrupting you, the kind of aggression you are looking for is not the T.V. kind.  Effective lawyers are aggressive in the sense that they know what can be achieved, what the likely outcome will be based on all the facts and will not hesitate to go before a judge to obtain for you what you are entitled to.  But, the effective aggressive lawyer doesn’t rant at opposing counsel like some lunatic, argue to the judge points that have already been decided or write hundreds of scathing letters to opposing counsel that have no purpose other than to impress you with how aggressive they are and generate fees for the attorney.
When the effective aggressive attorney hears a demand from the opposition that is not believed to be in your best interest, he or she simply says, “I’m sorry, but that isn’t acceptable, let’s ask the judge to rule on it.”  The effective aggressive lawyer writes one letter for every 10 letters written by the lunatic aggressive lawyer but those fewer letters each of a purpose and are as short as possible.
The reality is that every decent lawyer already knows what the likely outcome of your case is not just on your side, but on the other side as well.  The effective attorney is aggressive in that he or she pushes forward on your case, prepares thoroughly for court and does all of that with as little show as necessary.
Just remember, when the opposing attorney makes a demand on your lawyer, it is as effective for your lawyer to simply say“no, thank you, I believe we are entitled to the following . . . . and if you don’t agree, let’s set the earliest possible court date to let the judge decide.”  Not only is this just as effective, it costs you far less than a 10 minute tantrum and five scathing letters.  

As a side note, one of the most interesting things I’ve noticed over the years is that the most “aggressive lawyers” are often the least comfortable and/or least effective in court, which may be the very reason they spend all of YOUR money attempting to intimidate rather than prepare for and appear in court.  In other words, the effective aggressive lawyer is as comfortable in the courtroom as in his or her own office, but would rather accept a fair settlement than simply run your fee bill up.  Put another way, the effective aggressive lawyer is interested in the best possible outcome for you at the most reasonable cost.  The typical “aggressive attorney,” the one willing to paying $30 to Google every time someone clicks on his or her paid ad, is often more interested in finding ways for YOU to pay for those ads along with their second home, their new Mercedes and, ironically, their own child and spousal support, through their various their antics.

By: Robert R. Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000
Fax: 855-370-8100
orangecountydivorceattorney.lawyer
Legal Guide on Aggressive Divorce Attorneys


#orangecountydivorceattorney

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Famous wedding resort to offer "divorce packages"


The Saratoga Springs' Gideon Putnam Resort will be hosting the whole cycle of marriage on weekends: weddings AND divorces.

As an Orange County divorce attorney, and a proponent of mediation, I found this notion fascinating;

The New York Post reports: An upstate resort famous for its lavish weddings will ironically serve as the venue for “Divorce Hotel” — a business that promises couples a painless split in an idyllic setting.

For a flat $5,000 fee, the divorcing parties are put up in separate rooms at Saratoga Springs’ Gideon Putnam Resort for a weekend and work with a mediator to finalize the details into a signed agreement.
“Practically, they are divorced after signing on Sunday,” founder Jim Halfens, who already runs similar projects in his native Netherlands, told The Post. “After signing, all work is done and we send it to a judge who only puts a stamp on it to make it official.”

Halfens expects to start up his services at the end of September.

He believes the main clientele will be New Yorkers looking for a speedy split — but any US citizens can participate as long as they agree to use the provided mediators and lawyers.


Some guests will participate in a reality TV show, but most will conduct their marriage terminations in private.



If you can get through your divorce for $5000 through mediation, even as a divorce attorney, I'm all for it!

By: Robert R. Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000
Fax: 855-370-8100
orangecountydivorceattorney.lawyer

#orangecountydivorceattorney

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Why You Need A Premarital Agreement Properly Drafted: Wife of Billionaire Kenneth Griffin Seeks to Invalidate Premarital Agreement


According to the Chicago Tribune, Anne Dias Griffin, whose hedge-fund billionaire husband, Kenneth Griffin, filed for divorce in July, asked a Cook County Circuit Court to declare their prenuptial agreement invalid and to award her an “equitable” share of the couple’s property.
According to her court filings, the basis for her claim that the premarital agreement should be invalidated is that Ken Griffin didn’t provide her with a copy of the premarital agreement until shortly before their 2003 wedding and that she was coerced into signing it three hours before their wedding rehearsal dinner. 
She asked a Cook County Circuit Court to declare their prenuptial agreement invalid and to award her an “equitable” share of the couple’s property.
Make sure that you consult an experienced divorce attorney when considering a premarital agreement.  Premarital agreements are enforceable but only if properly drafted and if formalities are followed including the passage of 7 days between the date the final draft is presented to both sides before the parties sign the agreement.
By: Robert R. Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000
Fax: 855-370-8100
orangecountydivorceattorney.lawyer


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Court Records Shed Light on Holzer Murders: Nicolas and Ex-Wife Juana Exchanged Accusations of Sexual Abuse Against Sons

Goleta, California: "Nicolas Holzer, accused of killing his mother and father and two sons last week, made his first court appearance less than 48 hours after police responded to the bloody scene. The 45-year-old man, who allegedly fatally stabbed his family and their dog using two kitchen knives, was charged with four counts of first-degree murder and one count of animal cruelty."

"The incident raises questions of how a man who apparently stabbed his parents and two young sons was able to gain full custody of his children from ex-wife Juana Holzer seven years earlier. “It was a case of money and power that took the kids away from Juana,” said Juana’s current boyfriend, Charles Sirois, in an email."

What is really shocking is that a therapist was assigned to work with both children and made reports to Child Welfare Services.   Sadly, no one involved in the custody battle, not the courts, not the therapist and not social services, picked up on the danger to the children.

These parties were making allegations of domestic violence of abuse against each other, all too easy to do, and no one was able to sort out who was telling the truth until it was too late.

Holzer case demonstrates holes in the child custody process


By: Robert R. Beauchamp
Law Office of Robert R Beauchamp
bob@ocdlaw.com
23120 Alicia Pkwy
Second Floor
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Tel:  949-370-8000
Fax: 855-370-8100
orangecountydivorceattorney.lawyer